No Baby for You!

Audio Mixer: Dru Boogie.
If comedian Jim Norton's right, the world is a horrible place. It's filled with people who don't understand the only way to navigate life is to admit that "Condoms Suck," especially when in search of "The World's Wettest Vagina," and in a world where "Size Matters," "My Shitty Limp Dick" just doesn't cut it, which is why he spends his weekends "Spankin' a Bitch Too Hard" and the title of track of number 21, which is really pushing it. So is "Sex with the Retarded," where this admittedly short, admittedly angry, and admittedly awful comedian figures he's a "9" in her world, and that must make her happy, but if this depravity isn't offset by Norton's own self-destruction (according to this album, his penis must be really, really, really small, and smelly) then there's no arguing him out of it. This isn't the profanity-laden but rich experience offered by Lenny Bruce, but accept your inner creep for a bit and Norton's description of a, literally, "Shitty Buggy Ride" is delicious, as "the horse's asshole, it yawned, and $30,000 of hash just plopped out" onto his girlfriend. He wishes he had the picture, and he wishes he didn't leak so much pre-seminal fluid too ("I am what the FBI calls 'A Secreter'") as he points out on the album's title cut, which combines anal sex and destroying women's dreams for what Norton sees as his most golden moment. Raw, rank stuff, and it's unrelenting too, but he's got a skill at arranging these dirty-gross and gross-dirty jokes into a streamlined set, flowing much better than those Totally Gross Jokes books or Redd Foxx albums used to do. There's actually a pace and style underneath it all that is vintage standup, which is why this bastard imp lovechild of Larry Flynt and Andrew Dice Clay is considered a comedian's comedian by folks like Louis CK and the late, great Patrice O'Neal. Agree, and No Baby for You! is the party record to pick when the party turns blue, but keep the kids far, far away from it. We don't want another Jim Norton on our hands. ~ David Jeffries